About Angelo’s Control

I’m having mixed feelings about this one. And I have a little stylistic confession to make. I did something very different with this story.

I’m a pantser. Not all, but most of my stories are written with a loose idea of where I’m going. I get an idea of my characters, I wonder what it would look like if this kind of girl met this kind of guy, and I sit back and watch them tell their story. With Angelo I experimented with plotting, with making a more detailed outline of where I wanted the story to go. I added more people, more situations, and the story was darker, more erotic than romantic.

My feelings are mixed because I enjoyed the process. Angelo was a darker character and I knew giving him what he wanted from a relationship would cause more growing pains for everybody. But I wondered if I went too dark. I found that outlining the book before I write it drove me to try to create and control the characters more. Before, like I said, I just let them talk.

I was pretty proud of what I’d created until two things happened.

I’m in the middle of the rough draft for Duke’s first story, and I wrote a scene that made me stop. I couldn’t even reread it. I read a lot of dark erotic romance (which maaay or may not have had an effect on Angelo’s story), and this was sinking deep in that world. I’m a big fan of dark erotica (don’t question why you like it, just enjoy it), but Duke is not a dark guy. And it felt wrong to put that much darkness in his life. He’d already went through all that crap with Bren and her men. It didn’t seem fair to give the man who exemplified happy and positive that kind of future.

Second thing that happened is I read a review that was not happy with the third installment. While you can’t make everyone happy, I’m not made of rock. I wondered, What did I do so differently? I thought I had that one.

I went back and reread Brenda’s Release. And yeah. I did a 180 on you guys.

I still liked the third book, but I saw what happened. When I let the characters breathe and move to their own rhythm, the romance and affection were a slow burn, building in heat but never blowing up in your face. When I controlled the story more, I controlled it, not letting the characters talk to me, kind of listening when Duke told me, Um, sweetheart, I’m not that much of a freak. Sort of paying attention when Angelo grumbled, Fuck, I’m not that big of an asshole. Let’s not even get into Bren and Scott.

So.

I stopped where I was with Duke’s story. I pushed the outline and the 30k plus words to the side, I took some deep breaths, and I let that sweet guy talk to me. So, it may be the end of the summer when I finish his story, because I started over again. I’m even changing up that first sample chapter. Reading it now, Duke sounds like he has hang ups, and that sweet boy does not do regrets. He lives and loves, and he deserves the right to do that in his own relationship.

When I’m ready to write a dark romance, I’ll pick up my outline and start again. But since these guys started as a sweet romance (yeah yeah, that first dirty chapter, I know), I’ll let them finish that way. Who knows? I may even write an alternate version of Angelo’s Control.

Oh yeah, Brenda’s parents. I hate those buttholes. Don’t want to talk about them. But I realize I left you hanging in that regard, too. Sigh. I will do my girl justice while Duke tells his story. I will give that issue a proper closure, and I will finally take that albatross off her neck.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Kelana